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I have been in ongoing prayer vigil/battle (25+ years) with another that has waxed and waned over all this time to where God stepped in and said “enough!"and put us both in a time out. And it’s been going well. Personal and spiritual growth is apparent which is a given when you are walking by faith and feeling calm, determined and at peace, blessings happen. And then … dun-dun-dunnnnn! The past few days I was sorely tempted to contact them, I miss them and I love them. Then “weirdly” enough the face time, the texting, and the calling out all stopped working on my new phone. Everything else works but that! God is hilarious! ❤️ Message received. Into His hands I place my faith and my trust. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Thank you Jesus and forgive me for picking that back up off the cross. I give it back !!

Necessity. T he principle according to which something must be so, by virtue either of logic or of natural law. Standing in the grocery store with my long list and short budget and picking up a can of peas and it's newly updated price figuratively broke me. I stood there in well worn bell bottom jeans and a tee shirt with a sequined peace sign left over from my high school days and I cried. In that moment, over a can of processed peas, I reached the end of me. I had just moved into my one bedroom efficiency apartment with my two babies and started back to school. I gave my babies the bedroom and I slept on a camper cushion in the living room. The $25 a month awarded child support never arrived and I never counted on it. But I had my pride. I had my kids. And we would be okay. My dreams were intact. My budget was outlined. And there really wasn't a dime to spare. The biggest blessing was that a previous tenant had wired the dryer coin slot permanently to the on position saving me precious quarters every week. But we were safe and we had the rest of our lives ahead of us. Money has never come easy to me. I have had to work for everything we had. Yet we had fun. Once a week we would walk to the bakery and they could pick out any kind of treat they liked. And it was always a chocolate frosted cake donut. We walked everywhere. And we talked and we enjoyed. We had no sense how poor we were. But then that was our perspective on poverty. We stood in no soup line. We had clean clothes and water. We had a roof over our heads. Because I was on my path according to God and He saw to it that I was provided for. I suppose I could have begged others so I could have more stuff but then that would have stripped me of my self worth. Thank you Jesus and I am grateful no one disrespected my attempts. So what brings this story about? I have been solicited by many for money. Seems you ask one person on social media about their needs and bam! you are inundated with requests from all over the world for money to help them attain their goals of getting more money and stuff. After all, as an American with seemingly endless bounty, I too have been lumped into the generalization that I am a possible savior with a quicker answer to their prayers than the real Savior. I have been a giver for as long as I can remember and in the manner I was tasked by my gram to do so. "If you are going to give, don't you dare take credit for it and for heavens sake try really hard to not let anyone find out that you did! Let the glory go to God." Matthew 6 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." I am well aware that my money and my stuff will not get anyone into the Kingdom of Heaven or even up the path so they can answer the door when Jesus knocks. And I see "gifting" money fundamentally disrespects the person on the receiving end and changes the nature of the relationship. It puts the giver in control and in a role that does not rightfully belong to them and it just may well stifle the message of the gospel. Are you willing to take that risk? Not me! Search your heart to see the what is at the root of your giving. Is it to gain friends and acceptance? Are you thee most popular giver ever?! Is it to become another's master so that you are able to "advise" them? Or because you are directed by the Holy Spirit Himself to do this? In that case only, then please give! give! give! But giving to appease your conscience changes the game and you will completely miss the chance to give something of infinitely more worth: genuine relationship, the kind that isn’t built overnight. It dismays me when my prayers are poo poo-ed when I respond to requests with "I can and will support you to the end of the world with my prayers". After all, do you not know who I am and that God and I are one? And we talk! And I get prayers answered all the time. Or do you not really know God? After all, He does own everything and disperses everything as He sees fit. Still after all this time I will look upon a can of peas in the grocery store and remember. We made it through, God was sufficient and I have another success story to tell. So if you ask, of course I will pray for you. And I will see you on the other side.

As I dreamed last night, I heard an alarm clock go off. And I told the Holy Spirit I am awake but “ Father why I am here?” Who do I paint for? Who do I write for? He answered, “For the 1 in 99.” I asked, “Tell me about the one.” And in my thoughts, I saw the one who was brave enough to look up as the rest were content to graze. I saw the one who wandered off looking for adventure. I saw the one who wanted more. I asked, “But I thought the 1 in 99 was about a lost sheep.” He showed me that Jesus didn’t come for just the found, but to save the lost and help those convicted to helping Him help others find His gift of salvation and bring them into God’s kingdom. He came for those who have woken up. These are those people who really get ”it.” For Him… they live to make a difference. And then I read this… about the 98? TIME TO WAKE UP - Romans 13:11 "And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed." God is saying, "Wake up." There is such a great need for the slumbering saint to wake up. “A man came into church and he thought he would impress his pastor, so he said, "Pastor, give me a good prayer to pray unto entering the sanctuary." The pastor knew him and knew his habits, so the pastor suggested, "Why don’t you pray, ‘Now I lay me down to sleep.’” from http://preacherscorner.org/alarm.htm

i had the most experience today!! Theres been a rift happening over the years that had caused me and mine senseless hurts. Lately it has gotten out of hand. This past week I came across an hour long instrumental on you tube of shofar calling. I felt led to play it again and again … reminding me of my teen self enjoying the daily dramas by playing the same 45 record over and over. But this grown up drama is not enjoyed. As it played, I prayed in the spirit and the more I prayed, I could feel my soul bursting up through me to reach God. I knew if nothing else came from it it’d be okay. And then… I was led to right a brief and basic “I quit all you alls” note and send it off. This was odd as thats not my thing. I received a text this morning apologizing and asking forgiveness. I asked God how to answer. He said wait. About an hour later, He said say “of course.” I asked Him to say it with me. He said of course.” So we did. And WOW!! It was an EXPERIENCE! And healing! https://youtu.be/ErxNX88lnzQ - the part that struck me was the waiting a bit to answer. He knew the weightiness of the decision to say “of course” God was in it so it was successful. Just like everything we try on our own, it falls short. I have asked Him before to help me forgive but asking Him to be the details was new. 😀

This 🙏 popped up in my thoughts during my prayer time (on the elliptical) just now and my crazy cool God confirmed by having me notice that my steps were in sync with the minutes (3847 steps vs 38:47 minutes) and that it held in sync (which is a God move) till my allotted time up of 40 minutes. He was showing me that He sees so many offer this 🙏 to others in solidarity or sympathy and then move on with their tasks having never prayed. 🫢 I am sure it wasn’t you. But a couple of instances popped up where I had which has caused me to pray right then and there. Matthew 26:41 ESV Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

I know of no Christian who knows Jesus that says this. The question then is a lie. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Rather than speculate on opinions, why not just ask Him? And because you spelled sanitize incorrectly… should this question be discredited? Jk… John 18 37 “You are a king, then!” said Pilate. Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” 38 “What is truth?” retorted Pilate. With this he went out again to the Jews gathered there and said, “I find no basis for a charge against him.

To make sense to another of the losses in my life, I first need to qualify that I have endured them. And ”endured” not in the sense that I have suffered something painful or difficulty patiently because patiently seems defined by one who never experienced a no-sound scream of utter agony repeated over and over to where a bystander would say "it seemed impossible that anyone could endure such pain". This was my mother’s path. She was my mentor, she was my heart and she was my guide in my walk with God path. For me I endured loss after loss after loss of my family. Some instantaneous as far car accidents, aneurysms, drug affects, mental health related threats and some like issued a prison sentence of health issues. Did you ever watch the death row prison movie the Green Mile? In the last scene the camera pans to one cell and the prisoner literally evaporated (special effects style). Then on to another and that prisoner also evaporates. And the same scenario plays out over and over until the cell block is emptied of its inmates. All gone. At first I endured as my mother did. The soundless screams. Through the osin she dug her faith heels in and gave of herself more and more that would rival any titled apostle or evangelical faith healer. Yet she was as her mother, extraordinarily ordinary to most. Until they looked again. I think because it started early in my life and once the losses began and never let up that I learned to endure as “to remain in existence” as in “these cities have endured through time". I too dug my faith heels in and praised God for all things throughout the tears I thought would never cease. I see memes of relating to “always say I love you” and “carpe diem” and I think ”amateurs“. I see “its sibling day! Celebrate together!“ and I am stung for what was taken from me yet inevitably grateful that someone can celebrate what I once had. I see families fighting snd squabbling over money and who said what or who did what and i think ”seriously?!“ yet inevitably I remember the joy of bickering with my big sister and how normal it is. I am glad I lived it. I would pick them all again to join up with, even knowing. God had a good idea about it after all. I used to think that my mother buried herself and her pain deep down into her soul. Maybe she did. I don’t know. I know I miss her. For me, I see that my own self is not buried deep into my soul but that because I embrace the Holy Spirit as my counselor and Jesus Christ as my savior, that my soul has risen and embraced me and I am truly blessed beyond all measure. I wear the mantle my mother wore. A Five Fold ministry. APOSTLE (Dream Awakener): You are uniquely gifted at awakening people to discover who they are. You are uniquely gifted at helping them reach their potential. This is a great joy to me! PROPHET (Heart Revealer): You are uniquely gifted to reveal God’s heart for his people. You are particularly gifted at hearing the Holy Spirit and helping others do the same. EVANGELIST (Story Teller) You are uniquely gifted to celebrate the transformations of God. You are gifted at inviting and including people into relationship. PASTOR (Soul Healer) You are uniquely gifted at restoring and healing the broken souls. You are uniquely gifted at integrating people into the family of God. TEACHER (Light Giver) You are uniquely gifted at making truth and understanding accessible to all. You are gifted at helping people apply truth and the scriptures to their life. But you know what? I just love Jesus. He does restore souls. He does carry our burdens. If I can continue to continue and in spite of my losses but because I KNOW they live again in heaven, i want to help you know it too. I want your soul to merge with you. I want to help you find out just why you jumped into the life you did. I want you to find the truest love of all, Jesus Christ, King of kings, my best friend.

Jesus told us to love one another, as in 1 John 4:21, "He has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister." Being an observer has given me the privilege of being a "fly on the wall," and my latest lesson is, "What kind of love is ours?" We say we love, but how deep is it? And is it enough? How do we go deeper? I witnessed a paid caregiver assist a patient. They smiled and talked kindly. They appeared to be in no rush, exhibited great patience, and gave their patient the gift of "all the time in the world." If other duties were beckoning, there was no external signage. My heart observed that they were more than an accomplished employee but living their calling. I was touched by the blessing of watching a true calling at work. I noticed that comparison of this "paid professional" and those who loved the patient in a myriad of ways generating more questions for pondering. Is the love shared controlling as in is it out of directing influence over for personal reasons? Is the love shared empathetic? As in showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Is the love shared gratuitous? As in it cost nothing. Roger L'Estrange said, "We mistake the gratuitous blessings of Heaven for the fruits of our own industry." Jesus' love cost Him His life. He did not stop short of going all in. Is the love shared selfish? As in arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others. Is the love shared compassionate? As in pitying, sympathizing, sympathetic, or tender? We are on our path to figuring this out. In the meantime, we are to put ourselves "out there" and allow Jesus to care for us in return. With that, I share the prayer; To Love One Another . Dear God, Thank you for being a truly loving and merciful God. Thank you for offering me forgiveness and the gift of new life in you. Thank you that your love is perfect and never fails; as you promised, nothing can separate me from your love. I pray that I will be filled and overflowing with the power of your love so I can make a difference in this world and bring honor to you. I ask for your help reminding me that the most important things are not what I do outwardly, not based on any talent or gift, but the most significant thing I can do in this life is to love you and to choose to love others because "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18 in Jesus' name, Amen.

Bear with me while I am unraveling the pondering in my thoughts for months now involving our consent to the use of our own bodies to the indoctrination of the next phase of the apocalyptic takeover, which is implicating the palms of our hands, and our growing impatience of "I want what I want and what I want is to have it right now"... The mark of the beast has been long thought of as ingesting or inserting foreign matter into our bodies. That's too easy, and already the backlash of it was felt, and the test was not well received by the masses. The easiest way to get compliance is in our available agreement to have ease and comfort. Side note... the children's movie, Wall-E, was just a precursor, but unfortunately, their happily ever after ending is not as viable unless you know Jesus or get Raptured out of here. The palm of God's hand... God answers the repentant people of Jerusalem, who thought Yahweh had forgotten and forsaken them; Isaiah 49:16 says, "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." The face scan has proven successful for the use of smartphones. My own Macbook is easily unlocked with my fingerprint. Access to secure areas is using retinal identification. Amazon One recently launched a new biometric technology that lets shoppers enter and pay for items by placing their palm over a scanning device. For it to work, users first must connect their palm to a stored credit card. After that, users can pay with their hand. Credit cards... that's a whole other beastly area... Do you recall Isaiah 41:13, where God says, "For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." ? As God holds our right hand and as we keep our eyes on Him, our right hand is automatically joined in His. Is it not insidious of evil to try to break this handshake? And how clever to get us to do it of our own free will... And as I write this, the thought pops up of many grasping at loopholes to maintain their comfort, such as Matthew 6:3, "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing," Hmmm... I will count on Psalm 16:8, "I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." and I will keep my hands to myself.

I had a dream last night. Inside the gold circle of an engagement ring was stacked cubes of diamonds. 4 wide x 3 high totaling 12 in all. Being in such a confined space one would think they fit perfectly and snugly as in the method done by the History channel Ancient Builders. But nope! The Holy Spirit asked me not to look at the shiny things and to notice the gaps between the stones. The gaps are a problem. Words create gaps... whats in a word… I came across a post that was well written and true. But yet it has my senses tingling. Why? i agree, I think... and yet I am in a long time struggle with those who use the word compel in describing anything about Jesus. I struggle with the thinking that Jesus compels us towards difficulties. Compel is defined as in pressuring another. And in the many versions of the bible compel is substituted with being bold with assurance, bold with confidence, bold to make a daring stand, you made me do it, forced upon me, etc. and this is just from Corinthians. It is my understanding that it is the devil who compels as in Revelation 13:16 Also he compels all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free men and the slaves, to be given a mark on their right hand or on their forehead [signifying allegiance to the beast], As I said… I struggle with the use and as reminded yesterday… wise as serpents… The thing is that once seen, once the brain pings on something… it cannot be unseen. Yes, I have had my queries deleted without so much as a how-do-you-do but the Holy Spirit assures me every time that the ping has happened they saw what they deleted. I am His reluctant observer. Reluctant? Yes as its not an easy task to cause people to think. Thank God for those who search out Gods truth for themselves on their lives. And the lesson of whats in a word query continues… What version of the bible is your “stand on” ? I stand on the KJV and the NKJV but find the NIV an easier read but find it tainted with modernisms. example… compelled by the spirit is NIV is bound by the spirit in KJV I know my God would prefer me to be wanting to be held tight to Jesus rather than pressured into it as pressured does nor not align with seeking Him and following Him, of our free with all our heart and soul. the message on my path is the devil is in the details. each word and its intention is incredibly important. after all… to thwart the devil utilizing loopholes, also recognize how it is our nature to drift from God with excuses and assumptions. The devil loves these both for breakfast. there is no right vs wrong in any of this as there is only what knowledge we agree to believe. its easy to latch on to others opinions but God wants our own! For me… no compelling of the Spirit as I associate the defined definition of being pushed as not of God. This has been an exercise in evaluating what we readily accept without thought. Our assumptions will cause us to sink in the water or walk on it. As long as you know you are good… thats all that matters. ❤️

I envisioned a catapult built upon a smartphone poised on a hilltop positioned to aim at the cities. I saw the egg in the sky in place of the sun. I saw its cracked Faberge shell on the desert floor. I saw an iron pan symbolize the impossibility of people reaching God after the siege has begun. The siege... the apocalypse... This painting is of Ezekiel's story of the forever rebellious captives set free of the Pharaohs only to be bound by idols of their own making. As he stood in place for God, he was to look only at the pan, not the city, in recognition for these people to see that their sins have put a barrier between themselves and God, causing many to spiritually starve to death. Ezekiel 12:7, And I said to them, "Each of you, get rid of the vile images you have set your eyes on, and do not defile yourselves with the idols of Egypt. I am the Lord your God." 8 "'But they rebelled against me and would not listen to me; they did not get rid of the vile images they had set their eyes on...hmmmm "...they did not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they will listen now..." Don McLean's song called Vincent comes to mind. Even though the phrase out of the frying pan into the fire describes moving or getting from a bad or difficult situation to a worse one, it is like Francis Schaeffer said, "The beginning of men's rebellion against God was, and is, the lack of a thankful heart." I believe in God. I believe in His people. I believe most retain the original Adam's inherent goodness, and that love always wins because God is good. Most will willingly fly home. Hmmm... There were barriers then as there are now, for it is man's nature to drift from God. And today... it's the internet. But God is good and has given us a way back. Jesus has replaced the pan. John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Thank you Jesus!

I am undecided how to start this. It can either be “where two or three are gathered…” and in the Bible, it continues on with Jesus being there as well. But because the devil is a perversion of good, he can also be there. or “… never promised a rose garden…” okay, but why are the thorns so prevalent? So I thought I forgave, forgot, and moved on. but the old situation reemerged to prove I hadn’t. That pack mentality that has been a thorn in my side for so long successfully baited me into conceding my healing. It took years to recover from past offenses made up of insinuations, assumptions, slander, the sheer meanness of words said and deeds. An invitation was sent, and I accepted. I walked in and was immediately assaulted by the prevalence of evil. The room wafted a heavy atmosphere of oppression which baited me into reverting into a self-defensive mode to the glee of the evil one. I had prayed beforehand. I had asked God to go before me and with me, and the meeting was still tense and uncomfortable. I left feeling utterly defeated. I knew I had surely failed… again. Did I? It feels like it. But God says no. I had assumed He wanted me to participate again. He hadn’t asked me to. I had assumed only good waited for me. Sometimes we are not to participate. Sometimes we are not to walk into the den. Being pushed in is another story, but to willingly walk in under free will? No. God gave me free will and a sound mind, and He expects me to use both intelligently. Even if. I prayed and beseeched God as to the particulars of this event. I was shown that one person's anger, greed, and unforgiveness allowed into them an ancient-looking, storybook-type of crone/witch entity. They wore the reflections of the sins they harbored on their face, and it repulsed me. I had gone into this meeting thinking God would back me up. I got a reminder that it was foolish to rely on asking forgiveness rather than permission in the first place, and I will think long and hard before I go willy-nilly into the den again. But God is good, and He talked to me about it. I was distressed about this meeting for a few days as I floundered on going forward while feeling like a failure, AND the orphan-ness had been reinstated, and it all seemed more than I could bear until I kneeled to Jesus to take this cup from me. He gave me a dream. I left the day of work in my new sports car, a Trans Am. And I made a wrong turn and got lost deep in the metro side streets. I ran into a roadblock and sought the help of an immigrant woman who gave me directions on how to detour around. As she did, I recall feeling odd at the look she gave me when she asked if I had left the keys in the car. I said I had. As I left her home, I noticed the key to her home was still in the exterior lock allowing anyone to come in. I recall thinking how odd. I returned to my car to find it gone! I walked back to my workplace to get my old car. This time I made the right turns to get home. And then its back tire went flat in an older but suburban neighborhood. I got out and talked with a landscape crew about getting help. As they offered suggestions, I was distracted by their language and the look they gave me. I returned to my car. It was gone as well! There can be a lot of speculation in the symbolism and nuances of this dream like cars are a source of pride, need, mobility, etc. And the knowing something was skewed by the looks I caught as well as the keys being tools but the only thing that is important is that I am shown that none of this would gave happened had I not left my "work." And who do I work for? Jesus. Message received. Amen

Adhering a mural to a 15’ high stairwell aand adding a wainscoting look

In this Halloween season… God owns you by right of creation. Because he created you, he owns you–just as any artist owns that which he creates. “For every living soul belongs to me” (Ezek. 18:4) Per free will… You can sell your body, your thoughts, your beliefs. But not your soul. Capeesh?