I am undecided how to start this.
It can either be “where two or three are gathered…” and in the Bible, it continues on with Jesus being there as well. But because the devil is a perversion of good, he can also be there.
or “… never promised a rose garden…” okay, but why are the thorns so prevalent?
So I thought I forgave, forgot, and moved on. but the old situation reemerged to prove I hadn’t. That pack mentality that has been a thorn in my side for so long successfully baited me into conceding my healing. It took years to recover from past offenses made up of insinuations, assumptions, slander, the sheer meanness of words said and deeds.
An invitation was sent, and I accepted. I walked in and was immediately assaulted by the prevalence of evil. The room wafted a heavy atmosphere of oppression which baited me into reverting into a self-defensive mode to the glee of the evil one. I had prayed beforehand. I had asked God to go before me and with me, and the meeting was still tense and uncomfortable. I left feeling utterly defeated. I knew I had surely failed… again.
Did I? It feels like it. But God says no. I had assumed He wanted me to participate again. He hadn’t asked me to. I had assumed only good waited for me.
Sometimes we are not to participate.
Sometimes we are not to walk into the den.
Being pushed in is another story, but to willingly walk in under free will? No.
God gave me free will and a sound mind, and He expects me to use both intelligently. Even if.
I prayed and beseeched God as to the particulars of this event. I was shown that one person's anger, greed, and unforgiveness allowed into them an ancient-looking, storybook-type of crone/witch entity. They wore the reflections of the sins they harbored on their face, and it repulsed me. I had gone into this meeting thinking God would back me up. I got a reminder that it was foolish to rely on asking forgiveness rather than permission in the first place, and I will think long and hard before I go willy-nilly into the den again.
But God is good, and He talked to me about it.
I was distressed about this meeting for a few days as I floundered on going forward while feeling like a failure, AND the orphan-ness had been reinstated, and it all seemed more than I could bear until I kneeled to Jesus to take this cup from me.
He gave me a dream. I left the day of work in my new sports car, a Trans Am. And I made a wrong turn and got lost deep in the metro side streets. I ran into a roadblock and sought the help of an immigrant woman who gave me directions on how to detour around.
As she did, I recall feeling odd at the look she gave me when she asked if I had left the keys in the car. I said I had. As I left her home, I noticed the key to her home was still in the exterior lock allowing anyone to come in. I recall thinking how odd.
I returned to my car to find it gone! I walked back to my workplace to get my old car. This time I made the right turns to get home. And then its back tire went flat in an older but suburban neighborhood. I got out and talked with a landscape crew about getting help. As they offered suggestions, I was distracted by their language and the look they gave me.
I returned to my car. It was gone as well!
There can be a lot of speculation in the symbolism and nuances of this dream like cars are a source of pride, need, mobility, etc. And the knowing something was skewed by the looks I caught as well as the keys being tools but the only thing that is important is that I am shown that none of this would gave happened had I not left my "work." And who do I work for? Jesus.
Message received. Amen
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