Necessity. The principle according to which something must be so, by virtue either of logic or of natural law.
Standing in the grocery store with my long list and short budget and picking up a can of peas and it's newly updated price figuratively broke me. I stood there in well worn bell bottom jeans and a tee shirt with a sequined peace sign left over from my high school days and I cried. In that moment, over a can of processed peas, I reached the end of me.
I had just moved into my one bedroom efficiency apartment with my two babies and started back to school. I gave my babies the bedroom and I slept on a camper cushion in the living room. The $25 a month awarded child support never arrived and I never counted on it. But I had my pride. I had my kids. And we would be okay. My dreams were intact. My budget was outlined. And there really wasn't a dime to spare. The biggest blessing was that a previous tenant had wired the dryer coin slot permanently to the on position saving me precious quarters every week. But we were safe and we had the rest of our lives ahead of us.
Money has never come easy to me. I have had to work for everything we had. Yet we had fun. Once a week we would walk to the bakery and they could pick out any kind of treat they liked. And it was always a chocolate frosted cake donut. We walked everywhere. And we talked and we enjoyed.
We had no sense how poor we were. But then that was our perspective on poverty. We stood in no soup line. We had clean clothes and water. We had a roof over our heads. Because I was on my path according to God and He saw to it that I was provided for. I suppose I could have begged others so I could have more stuff but then that would have stripped me of my self worth. Thank you Jesus and I am grateful no one disrespected my attempts.
So what brings this story about? I have been solicited by many for money. Seems you ask one person on social media about their needs and bam! you are inundated with requests from all over the world for money to help them attain their goals of getting more money and stuff. After all, as an American with seemingly endless bounty, I too have been lumped into the generalization that I am a possible savior with a quicker answer to their prayers than the real Savior.
I have been a giver for as long as I can remember and in the manner I was tasked by my gram to do so. "If you are going to give, don't you dare take credit for it and for heavens sake try really hard to not let anyone find out that you did! Let the glory go to God."
Matthew 6 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
I am well aware that my money and my stuff will not get anyone into the Kingdom of Heaven or even up the path so they can answer the door when Jesus knocks. And I see "gifting" money fundamentally disrespects the person on the receiving end and changes the nature of the relationship. It puts the giver in control and in a role that does not rightfully belong to them and it just may well stifle the message of the gospel. Are you willing to take that risk? Not me!
Search your heart to see the what is at the root of your giving. Is it to gain friends and acceptance? Are you thee most popular giver ever?! Is it to become another's master so that you are able to "advise" them? Or because you are directed by the Holy Spirit Himself to do this? In that case only, then please give! give! give! But giving to appease your conscience changes the game and you will completely miss the chance to give something of infinitely more worth: genuine relationship, the kind that isn’t built overnight. It dismays me when my prayers are poo poo-ed when I respond to requests with "I can and will support you to the end of the world with my prayers". After all, do you not know who I am and that God and I are one? And we talk! And I get prayers answered all the time. Or do you not really know God? After all, He does own everything and disperses everything as He sees fit.
Still after all this time I will look upon a can of peas in the grocery store and remember. We made it through, God was sufficient and I have another success story to tell.
So if you ask, of course I will pray for you. And I will see you on the other side.
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