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  • Would I do it again?

    The Irish singer Gilbert O'Sullivan sings "It seems to me that there are more hearts broken in the world that can't be mended left unattended. What do we do? What do we do? We wait it out. Like today. The first time someone referred to me as stalwart I was so offended. It's all my own fault. Words like capable, talented, confident, strong, intelligent, faithful, empathetic, compassionate, passionate and so on put me in the position of always being so "there" for others that in the process I became invisible. The general consensus seems that invisible people do not have needs or feelings. Invisible people have no inner wounds. You cannot hurt invisible people with words or actions. Invisible people have no desires and certainly no preferences. Invisible people do the right thing and no waves will be forthcoming. Invisible people certainly do not require effort from others. God saw me. He was there when I made a childish teenage choice of a husband I was deeply in love with. He agreed to this change in the plan that had been set forth for me. He saw me as the man/child bore the thievery of his own childhood upon me in the worst kinds of spousal abuse as I bore him two beautiful babies. I understood. God warned me it would be hard but He would help me every step of the way. He made a way out of the poor choice. He protected my life as I protected theirs. I understood. I gave up my planned life for them. I tried. I persevered. I got educated in a field that bore little resemblance to my desires. I understood. I worked corporate. Corporate! I swore I would never ever ever. But I did. I did it for my kids. No welfare life. No section 8 housing. I wanted them to have what I had. I fought for them. I fought with them. To be smarter. Better. I understood. I learned to like my life. I learned to appreciate what I had to work for. I spent little on myself. I went without. I became invisible. I understood as I became a non-entity in my circle's eyes. God saw me. He provided His own mentorship the likes that very few are allowed. Little did I understand the weight of this gift or how it would see me through what the impending shoes were about to drop or how I would later mentor and teach others. God saw me. He helped me endure the tragic and untimely deaths of my sisters. I understood. He helped me endure the years and years of the never ending reminder that my dad was dying at any moment. I understood. He helped me endure the death of my brother. I understood, He help me endure the loss of my mom even as she lived. I understood. He helped me endure her choosing to no longer mother her last child surviving child, me, anymore. I understood. But God saw me. He understood. He allowed my career to progress and to provided better for my children. In doing so, they did not understand. We moved. They did not understand. I married again. They did not understand. We married into a large unyielding family. They did not understand. I understood. I lived with post traumatic stress disorder. They did not understand. God did. He and I grew closer with each battle. God saw me. God saw my losses. God saw my mistakes. God saw I tried. God never took Hs eyes off of me. God blessed me. I understood. God loves me. I am His beloved. I am His anointed as just a regular person who has been specially set apart for God's plan and purposes just as it says in the New Covenant, all Christians are anointed who are baptized in the Holy Spirit. God saw those who failed me. He will talk to them. God saw those who put themselves first. He will talk to them. God understands. A broken commandment is a broken commandment. They don't understand. For those who do not honor their father and mother and give disrespect to them in thought, word or deed are as guilty as those who commit murder. They don't understand. God will talk to those who harmed this child of His as it says in Psalms 105:15 "Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm." They will soon understand. God sees me. He knows the ending hour of my life. Should it come later than sooner, I understand. If I leave now, the devil will have no competition for those I care for. God sees me. Because of Him, I willingly forgive. I understand. I live to serve... my Father in heaven. Yes He really does exist. I am not alone at all. Neither are you.

  • How has the Holy Spirit helped you understand things you couldn’t before?

    The Holy Spirit help me understand that it was good that I was born. That I have a purpose in being here. He helped it to sink in the verse that says "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father…So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31 To Jesus… I matter. I am loved. I am wanted. It’s easy to love when you are loved.

  • Mirror mirror on the wall... I know it them and not me. Right?

    Wrong. It's you. It all seems so simple... if only "they" would see reason, if only "they" would agree "they" have the problem, if only... if only... if only... and then there is... "as soon as my prayer is answered" "no! I cannot until my prayers are answered" and so on and so on and so on... Todd Chrisley said "don't worry about what I care about, worry about you, I got me." He just have had a similar gram as mine. My gram used to say "don't you worry about them, you worry about you". And there you have it. If there is a delay, is it you? If it isn't happening yet, is it you? In Acts 4:12 it says "And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” "They" getting it right will not save you. You know who will and there you are! Look at you lookin' at Jesus for your answer! Good for you! Now the blessings resume!

  • dont be so quick to die

    Hmmm… the Holy Spirit has prompted me to share that it is not that I paint or that I write, but that I share the lessons from my path with Him. My earliest memory of this stuff was at the age of 4, more than 5 but still decades ago 😉 The lessons are hard earned and come at great cost to me. Each and every one of them has a background of all things Ecclesiastical with a blend of Job. I try to keep myself in the background as I want all the attention to be kicking the rocks out of the way to see and hear Jesus clearer. My mom, my mentor, had a wonderful friend named Dorie who could not wait to get to heaven. I used to think “why the rush?” and now I get it. But for now, this is what He tasks me to do. So I do. I do my best. For you to see Him clearer. To those who spur me on with your support, thank you! You bless me.

  • demons in a vacuum

    The phrase “Nature abhors a vacuum” is attributed to Aristotle. It means every space in nature needs to be filled with something due to the laws of nature and physics. Yet Thomas Aquinas, much like Aristotle, wrote that nature is organized for good purposes. Unlike Aristotle, however, Aquinas went on to say that God created nature and rules the world by "divine reason. I often get asked about demons messing up one’s life... “Do bad spirits actually enter a persons soul and make them act bad?” Consider the parable of the empty house told by Jesus: “ ‘When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, “I will return to the house I left.” When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first’ ” according to Luke 11. which tells of a man pos­sessed by the devil with Jesus likening his life to a messy house. But when the evil spirit was cast out, Jesus depicted the man’s life as a clean and orderly house. The evil spirit returns to the man and finds him to be like a house, clean, well-swept, and ready for company. The spirit re-enters the man and brought along seven other spirits. The man is now more controlled and worse off than before. The question—why? What led to the evil spirit’s success? Was it because the house was swept and put in order? No. It was left unprotected. How can this dangerous state be avoided? The simple answer is, Do not leave the house empty. Cleansed of the evil spirit, the heart is clean, but do not leave it empty—let Jesus dwell in it as a permanent occupant of the heart. And ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit (see Ephesians 5:18). Ellen White counsels, “The religion of Christ means more than the for­giveness of sin; it means that sin is taken away, and that the vacuum is filled with the (Holy) Spirit. It means that the mind is divinely illumined, that the heart is emptied of self, and filled with the presence of Christ. our life and knowing the word of God.” When in doubt? Sing! I find the song “create in me a clean heart o God” restores me. From the inside out. Listen! https://youtu.be/BGPmMcDeRpM

  • Be careful what you wish for.

    Of all the things I am blessed and anointed with, my life is not easy. But easy appears to not be what I chose to jump into here for Jesus. But I have Jesus. And He is who I look at. He is who I count on. This showed up in my FB feed today and remember this. I was so proud of my kids that they achieved great and worldly success and that in spite of all the barriers before us that I had not failed them. They both even had graduated the same place, the same day and their first time from college on mothers day. Another prophetic moment. Just as in wishing, be careful what prophecies come your way. And yet as all truths are proven in the Bible, this one surely had my name on it. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. I have learned that I am but dust. Except to God. And Du. And my favorite neighbors. God always sends an angel(s).

  • no regifting

    do you ever have a memory of an action you were involved in that pops in just to “seemingly shame you” ? 1- think on it for a moment. But no dwelling. 2- see yourself letting go of it and giving it to God as a gift of more of you. Jesus was asked and then answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Matthew 22 3- look again at it and ask God to bless it and make it to work for your good and His glory. And this time put the image of God in the action. 4- Because God is the Alpha, the beginning, and the Omega, the ending, He is timeless and is all places in all times, He can restore the action. 5- Do not dwell on it anymore. If it comes back and causes to flinch as you once did, repeat these steps and add step 6. 6- Do not be a re-gifter. Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

  • saving our world

    I joined friends last night to experience an escape room. It was incredible!!! It was terrific to see each do what they do best and to be so happily thrilled for each other!! We were a team! Nope we missed saving the world by a few minutes but it didn’t matter. We had fun. We went for a bite afterwards and then each went home. I plopped into bed almost immediately and quickly fell asleep. I dreamed of our Escape Room escort, a person appearing to be in transition who had been very helpful and pleasant. I was riding in the front seat of a car with them at the wheel. By “them” I mean that there were two distinct and equal people sitting in one body vying for complete control of the steering wheel. Oh how they fought each other neither willing to give an inch. The car was veering from one side of the road to the other in response. The wheels were screeching and yet I wasn’t afraid. I merely observed. And then it was over. I asked The Holy Spirit to explain this to me. A few bible verses popped in such as the one from Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other…” but the strongest reaction that came to me was simply EMPATHY for another human being (made in the image of God) whose own body was at war with itself. And then… I heard, in the vision and voice of the Grinch, singing “the devil is a mean one…”. Yes it is! And we play right into it via the news when we react to the publicity, the photo ops of the over the top painted and costumed portrayers invading our children’s lives causing others like me. who have a fear of painted up clowns in the first place, to feel actual fear and terror. Here is what I was shown. I was to pray for the actual person behind this mask who was needing the love of Jesus and His peace. That’s our job as His children. Absolutely we are to protect our children! Absolutely we are not to give evil an inch! How do we accomplish both at the same time? Ephesians 6:10 Finally, let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong. 11 Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself against the devil's tricks. 12 We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world…”. Pray For Their Repentance and Reconciliation to Jesus. Pray For God To Change Their Hearts. Pray For Their Salvation. Pray For God To Teach Them A Lesson. Pray For God To Forgive Them. Why? God always wins.

  • today is the day

    It has to start somewhere… Recently I heard one man’s opinion that in 100 years the vast majority of us that are living now muddled up in our lives and loves would not be remembered by anyone. I pondered on this and realized that the books we read or write, the pictures we take to capture moments, the methods we created to express ourselves in being unique, the peace we sought vs the wars we fought, or even what we coveted would have been long forgotten. In 100 years it will be as if we never existed. These heavy thoughts led to the lightness of Gods plan for us. Psalm 118:24, saying "This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." For today… give thanks for the gift of life from God. Your life, your actions, your choices... all matter! Why? Because we make a difference to others in all the things we say and do. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” A future… you are not only training up the next generations but instilling hope… and so on… and so on… Make it count for all the good reasons. If you struggle recall that “all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” 2 Timothy 3:16. Do your best.

  • a black fireplace

    beige… taupe… nude… puce… why do I bother?! 🫢 I just find it difficult to live with. I have always been drawn to the vintage drama of #blackfireplaces I painted/aged the tiled surround and then painted the bottom hearth tile to resemble stacks of charcoaled wood. the RESULTS!! the BEFORE! and the INSPIRATION! #artontheoutskirts

  • Heart Crumbs

    Again I was given crumbs to feed my starving heart. The lesson? To be grateful for the crumbs. I have had the sadness to live through the paralleling of the story of the Canaanite woman who was tested in the power of her faith as told in Matthew 15:21-28. She was persistent in asking Jesus to heal her demon-possessed child. Jesus repeatedly appears to deny her request, but in the end, she receives it. For me, its been a separation of years. My heart has been wrenched, betrayed, broken, but not once has my faith been tested. The trials I had endured before that prepared me for this long journey. Today, I received crumbs. It is agonizing and hurtful when I had hoped for more. I needed more. But crumbs it is. So be it. Thank you Jesus, I continue to trust you. Your will be done. It took me a minute or two to decide to respond as if I had been given a smorgasbord fit for The King. I did. I was met with the restrictions put back in place. But thats not where this story ends for in the meantime, God is working on me and I am open and willing to receive His guidance. Just as she believed in His power to say the word and the miracle would be done and did not stop asking, neither will I. I asked God last night why I never get to skirt around problems and struggles. He left me to mull it over as I slept. He gave me His answer first thing this morning. Things do look better in the morning. Thank you Jesus.

  • Regrets

    the Bible reads extensively of forgiveness. and primarily as to why we shall forgive “them.” harder to find in the Bible is directions about the one who caused the transgression in the first place. yes of course, we all fall short (Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) as we are fallible puny humans who naturally tend to look upon our own faces. and its the most noticeable when we make the wrong choice and are presented with the consequences, do we seize the opportunity to apologize or say “I am sorry.” what we do next determines our usefulness to God as well as in our growth in God keeping in mind that “I am sorry”connotes a feeling of remorse, while “I apologize” is a way to formally admit that you did something wrong, whether you feel "sorry" about it or not. and then, do we use the ensuing conversation to discuss ourselves and our feelings and the wherewithals of the why’s? or do we put the focus of healing on the recipient of our choices? is this is the time to seek the forgiveness of only God’s. why not theirs? and for what reason? is the transgressor only always to be the lesson? from our point of view walking towards paradise... don't you worry about them, Gods got them. and does "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" apply? Read the original motivational book, Proverbs. in the meantime, apply Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. 12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. 13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

  • do not Santa my Jesus

    An observation popped in to my thoughts as I was reading Psalm 96 1 Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. 2 Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day... of the Santa movies where the sleigh's power is fading due to lack of belief and can only be restored when all rally together in their belief creating a fantasy that lends credibility to the power of the human spirit. Did you know this "feel good" rally boosting does not apply to the power of God? It is the Lord God who formed man from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. God is the Alpha and the Omega, tbe beginning and the end. He was here before and will be here long after us. To sing praises to God... is good for OUR spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:11 For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Romans 8:16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, John 4:24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth. Why? 1 Corinthians 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, nuff said.

  • look at me now

    Summarizing excerpts from Jim Denison, PhD, Skeptics can discount evidence for our faith They can dismiss, they can explain, they can reject, they can avoid. However, they cannot reject our changed lives. Every day I reach for Jesus. Every day I seek His face. Every day my day develops into an excursion far from my own waking plans. Just when I think I will go right, God sends me left. It has been this way for so long, that this is now my normal. I am at one with my path to God. I teach, I create art on and beyond the canvas, I write, I mentor, I talk, I listen, and all at His beckoned call. I thank Him for these gifted blessings. Everything I do, I do for Him. And yet... in all of this I get angry, I lose my patience and my temper, I get frustrated, I cry, I feel invisible, I have both physical and heart pain, I get my feelings hurt, I get betrayed, I swear, I overeat, I try, I fail, I fear, and I just want to go home. And someday, when God decides, I will. But for now... He needs me, and my imperfections, to help those He sends around who do not see or hear Him, which is also not always a pleasant experience. And sometimes it is. I appreciate the smart ones very much. I acknowledged these others in my second book, Hope Uninterrupted, for causing my path to skyrocket to Gods arms. Look at me now, still a mess I suppose and still getting side-eyed by skeptics but, God can and does use me. And we both think that makes my footprint here pretty darn worthwhile. So it's okay God, I trust you. Thank you for trusting me.

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Art! On the Outskirts is the new project of entreating mountains via 

art on and beyond the canvas, exploring how faith, nature, and creativity intersect.

This project is a journey of discovering the depths of faith with art as a tool to sustain healing in my life.

I may not walk on water as Jesus did, but I am staying afloat through life lessons.

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If the world was flat, you would  now fall off here :)

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