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Good morning and Happy Easter!! God is good all the time! The last 4 weeks have been a time of healing from a lumbar spine disc replacement with 2 fusions and I don't know when I have felt more isolated. Which appears to be exactly how and where God wants me. This down-time of has given me time to dwell on past choices and experiences, not in the manner of Lot's wife in bemoaning what I have lost, but in the interactions of others in what I could have done better. For example... the similar back surgeries my mom went through. I can now appreciate how debilitating the recovery is. I ruminated on how I tried to be the supportive daughter in being with her as much as I could as I worked and lived 4 hours away. When I couldn't be with her, I sent flowers with cheery notes. When we talked I encouraged her to walk more than just a couple of trips around the dining table. After all, they say exercising even in the pain has to be done. This advice hit me now like a cold slap of water as I now I walk around my kitchen island. This slap of reality allowed me to continue to wallow through what I could have, should have, would have, done better by her led the door to open to guilt. And I was flooded with it. I cried out "JESUS!" And the Holy Spirit stepped in and reminded me that guilt is not of God. On a sidebar here... have you ever noticed that the Holy Spirit never speaks or refers to the enemy? But only of God? Anyways then, as I bemoaned to Jesus my then lack of compassion, The Holy Spirit showed me I had exhibiting fea over compassion. And so I gave the guilt to the cross of Jesus and asked Him to take it in accordance to 1 Peter 2:24, as Jesus personally carried the burden of our sins in his own body on the cross, to free believers from sin so they may live in righteousness and to do as I could and realize that mom chose to lean on others for reasons that had little to do with me. It's a hard lesson to accept that the tragedies that others experience cannot always be earthly fixed. No good intended advice can land always on their circumstances to help. No warnings can always prevent. Our paths to heaven are what they are and it is what it is. To get there we need to lean on Jesus. Happy Easter! He is risen. For you. And me.

Sharing from my latest blog entry, I write of my experience in enduring literal aftershocks from the Lumbar fusion surgery last week as my countless compressed nerves affected are trying to recalibrate to their original job function. First and foremost, I cannot wrap my thinking around how anyone can go through any surgery or any of the trials that come with aging without the prayers of others. This spinal surgery hit me hard and more than once I thought “is this the one that will do me in?” And yet again I personally witnessed Gods truth when He says “when I am weak He is strong” and its changing me to be okay with being His kind of “weak” When I needed comfort and compassion He sent me nurses to listen, to encourage, to be present. They continued their care even after leaving a 3 day stay at hospital and are part of the team of the neurosurgeon partnering with the orthopedic surgeon. They really are just a phone call away. And even with the setback of returning to a morning trip to Emergency Room to get realigned and back on the path, I am good to go and taking on the path a bit slowly- forward. Because of the harsh meds rendering my A-Game mentality Jesus provided me with my best friend and husband to keep track of the pills, the 24 hr timings of them, along with the ego busting use of a walker. Du has made true his vow of “in sickness and in health” and carries it out with a nurturing attitude. And throughout this all I relive my experiences with my mom. She went through similar surgeries and did not have the luxury of scientific advances that I just had. Even though I waited at her surgeries, prayed through them, drove miles and miles while still working my job, nothing will ever compare to seeing her eyes open each time to smile at me. It’s memories are untouchable. And then my friend reminded me that “This is the valley as in Psalm 23 and Jesus is with you through it all ... this is the place miracles happen ✨️ 🙌 🙏” and she is right. With Jesus no one is left alone. He has people who step up.

Heaven sent visual aids? On you walk your m path to heaven have you ever been graced with visual aids to let you know the state of your personal nation? We were recently going through a “time in the desert” with our last move and questioned it once or twice. But we knew we made the right move and were in The Plan regardless of how things looked or felt. I have this Fiddle Leaf Fig plant gifted to me by our friend, Favvy, and have taken great effort to care for it while we lived in our last home. It made it through the time of building this home as we resided in the RV and then the cabin, and finally moved into this new place. The fiddle fig did alright, it had little growth, but it didn’t die. I researched its care and also learned that the fig plant also signifies spiritual growth emphasizing the importance of bearing fruit in one's life And then a few weeks ago the leaves started to fall. Not all at once but more bi-weekly. And to make it harder to take… the bleakness of winter was being reflected in its vitality. At the point of of barely sustaining its last 3 leaves, we changed the dirt, gave it a bit more room, and disregarded googles recommended limited watering and flooded it with water every Saturday. At first there was no apparent change. But just as our own resolves to our decisions were going through their own new dirt and our thinking was be subjected to gaining more room, I suspected that this plant was being used in the way of John 15:1-6: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.” 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” Even though I did not consciously ask for a sign this time, God is a good and merciful God and still applied Isaiah 7:11 “Ask a sign for yourself from the Lord your God; make it deep as Sheol or high as heaven.” And this plant… where there was once one dying leaf, now there are three new ones to take its place with more popping through the places where others fell. New life. Let the old go.

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