What no wine

We went to a new church this morning. My hopes were bouyed as we entered as it resembled our home church. It was an older church and in an established neighborhood.

Walking in, I noticed most were in their Sunday best and there were a lot of little ones and they populated the front section of pews. No the parents did not have them hidden away in the back - out of earshot of the congregation.

The music started. No choir. No song leader. No hymnal. It sounded like someone was singing to Pandora radio Christian pop 40. Great songs to carry one throughout their daily tasks but something snuck into my thoughts of “its one of those churches.”

The sermon began and it was interesting; how we have not just weathered the last 2000 years but been here in the midst of chaos after crisis illuminating the love of Jesus. The sermon was shortlived and Pastor began his lengthy advertisement of an upcoming night to hear an author come and speak on their personal story of being a gay Christian. And with the little blond toddler smiling at me, my mind wandered.

I noticed the dads then. Lots of dads. All of them had a baby or toddler in their arms, taking them out, caregiving, the mostly moms sat. Interesting. It wasn’t a casual dad here or there, it was all of them that had children. It was… endearing… and odd.

Isn’t that a sad notion to think? And an outward thought popped in… Stepford wives. I have no idea how that plays into this.

The other thing that occurred was experiencing tremendous guilt for not being a good mom

when my babies were little and picking such a bad bio dad. Then the Holy Spirit spoke up and said our lives were predetermined, that their grandpa filled in with earthly feels until Du found us and that God was their Father. Oh and guilt is a blow dealt by the evil one.

Galatians 1:15

But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace,

The advertising finishes up. Collection happens. Now its time to prepare for Communion. There was no wine. Odd again. Communion celebrates the body and the blood. That matters to me. More Pandora songs play. And church is dismissed right on time.