More from my path... lessons and blessings. Being human in all to human relationships... holy moly not for the feint of heart. No one is successful all the time.
At one point in my tumultuous teenage years, my mom guilted me with "what did I ever do to deserve a child like you?" in a moment of being pushed (by me) to the edge and over the cliff of complete frustration. Oh how it stung! It left a mark. The love remained as was the respect and the friendship but...
God uses these marks, or hidden subconsciousness triggers in our behaviors, to play out at a later date so we can give take another look at them and give them over to him to heal. He desires to see us thrive and prosper in every way, to overcome the "issues" and move on up. The friction of holding on so tight to offenses or dragging ones feet in rebellion rather than letting go only pushes our own selves deeper into the rut. Now mind you like habits, ruts can be comfortable but are indeed completely useless. To us and to Jesus.
So yes we think we forgave and we forgot and that we moved on, but the tell tale sign that indeed we clung to a bit of the offense is that a similar situation will present itself (nice going Holy Spirit! I see what you did there") and the memory will emerge. The justification will ensue. The excuses happily resurface. Ahh but now we are older. More mature. More knowledgeable. And fortunately more amenable to the ways of God. And the Holy Spirit convictions persist.
Good on us! . Oswald Chambers said "Conviction of sin is one of the rarest things that ever strikes a man. It is the threshold of an understanding of God. Jesus Christ said that when the Holy Spirit came He would convict of sin, and when the Holy Spirit rouses the conscience and brings him into the presence of God, it is not his relationship with men that bothers him, but his relationship with God."
John 16:8 (NEB) "When he [the Holy Spirit] comes, he will convict the world, and show where right and wrong and judgment lie. He will convict them of wrong..."
So look at it. Take a good look. Say goodbye and finally give the rest of it to God. He can handle it. There's a basket at the foot of the cross just waiting for all you want to shed. You know the one. Isn't it time? It isn't too late. God has a plan. For us.
Sorry mom your daughter was so slow. Thank you for sticking with me through my immaturity. Thank you Jesus that you are so quick to love.
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