Desiderdata

To be a successful artist, you need a lot of charm and natural creativity and all these were fulfilled when I had narcissism. How do I get this talent back without narcissism?

I read your question and had no immediate answer and was intrigued enough of it to contemplate it because it struck a chord in what I have observed in other artists. That they seem to worship at the temple of their own narcissism. Yep! Up on the alter screaming “look at me! look at me!” rather than pointing to the true author of their creation. God, who graced them with their blessed talents in the first place. For myself and my art I am nothing without Him. I can do nothing without Him. And the closer I walk with Him, lean in to Him, the better my art is and the more it is received by others.

As i spent time with my daily meditations your question intruded and the Deseridata presented to me.

Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. ~Max Ehrmann

But back to you… you have not only moved on but have surpassed the “need”. You are standing on the threshold of going all in. To be elevated to the next level of allowing your art to outshine you. Which in turn casts it heavenly shadowless glow upon you.

Thank you for this time on my path.